Tupperware and Mental Care
World Mental Health Day was 10th October.
My husband Alex recently asked me what it was like to struggle with Depression and Anxiety. At the time I really couldn't put into words what it was like. But one morning when I was in the kitchen, I opened 'that cupboard' (you know the one which you just shove all your rubbish and Tupperware in there?) And it suddenly dawned on me that my mental health issues are like our Tupperware cupboard! (Stay with me). We have around 187 square Tupperware boxes with circular lids? Tupperware has it's uses but if you don't have the correct lid it's pointless right? If you don't take the time to sort out 'that cupboard' and get rid of the things that don't serve your need then you just add to the chaos, right? If you continue to buy more Tupperware and stack it onto of your existing boxes everything becomes jumbled, mismatched and you end up filling a space which could be used in a much more productive way. On the outside, it looks like a ‘normal’ everyday kitchen cupboard but inside shows a completely different picture.
Anxiety and Depression mean different things to different people. My first proper episode of depression and anxiety struck when I started university. And my worst depression came around 3 years later whilst working as an Investment Banker. But more about this in a future blog. My depression keeps me in the past and my anxiety focuses me on the future and I completely forget to live in the now. It’s two contradicting energies that seem to work both with and against each other.
But over time I'm learning. I'm learning not to let my Yesterday take up to too much of my Today. I'm learning that some days you have to say 'F**K It!' I did what I could today. Life is too short to be angry with yourself for being human. I'm learning that sometimes you have to breakdown before you can break through and sometimes you have to get lost before you can find your way back to yourself. I'm learning that the older I get the more I realise that everyone is doing their very best and your best is good enough.
According to the World Health Organisation, 1 in 4 people will experience mental health problems at some point in their lives. That’s one-quarter of the world’s population. So let’s be clear ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls - There is absolutely no shame in what you are going through. We’re not ashamed when our bodies get sick, so why should we be ashamed when our minds aren’t in top form? We should be looking after our mental health in the same way we look after our physical health. Depression is not selfish. Anxiety is not weird. Eating Disorders and Self- Harming is not attention-seeking. Mental illness isn’t self-centred, any more than a broken leg or the flu is self-centred. If your mental illness makes you feel guilty, review the definition of “illness” and try to treat yourself with the same respect, compassion and concern you would show to someone who had pneumonia or any other illness. Whether your pain is physical or mental it’s still pain, you are still hurting, and those feelings are valid.
If you are reading this and thinking “but I have no reason to be depressed, I have a good job, a loving family, we’re financially stable and live a really comfortable life” …Let me tell you this now (and I’ll say it louder for those at the back) It’s not about what you have. Mental Health problems is an illness and it doesn’t care who it gets. Because there is no normal – our minds are complex things and no single brain is the same.
Remember, "your best" doesn't mean pushing yourself to breaking point. "Your best" means the best you can do while being the best you. Get enough sleep, give yourself breaks, listen to your limits. Your best is when you're happy and healthy.
Remember, you are not your Depression, or your Disability, or your Anxiety, or your OCD or your Eating Disorder. You are your strengths and the things you are passionate about. You are your smile, your laugh and the way you make people feel.
It can be incredibly lonely and isolating when you are suffering with mental health problems. So, let’s all do our best to be kinder to ourselves and each other. Someone you know may be laughing and smiling on the outside, but internally they are hurting and are in the thick of a storm. So, let’s all ride that storm together with support, love and kindness. When that sad voice starts to get loud and your shoulder’s feel heavy talk about it, write it down, call a friend or call a helpline. And trust that things will get better, there is always light after darkness and you will breathe easy again.
For help, support and more information on mental health please have a look at the following links below:
https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/nhs-services/mental-health-services/
https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/