Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street
Take a moment to really think about this:
We watch nature programmes where we are introduced to marvellous creatures of this earth. Different species, some big, some small, some fast, some slow. Some a vision of beauty, others mysterious and quirky. Regardless of their aesthetic qualities they each have a purpose and play a vital role in the world we live in.
DIVERSITY is what makes them fascinating.
At a young age we learn about dinosaurs and how they once ruled the earth. We learn about their strengths, their weaknesses and celebrate them both. Our second son Stanley is obsessed with dinosaurs and already at the grand age of 2 ½ he can name and identify well over twenty types of dinosaurs. He loves that they come in different colours, shape and sizes. In his eyes the more different types there are the BETTER.
DIVERSITY is what makes them fascinating.
You walk into a florist to be captivated by the different scents and colours of each type of flower. Personally, my favourite flower is the sunflower. Think about what your favourite flower is. Now imagine if your favourite flower was the only type of flower to ever exist. I’m pretty sure I would soon get bored if in my case all I was seeing every day were sunflowers as it would lose its beauty and uniqueness. Each flower has its own significance and beauty. A lot of different flowers make a bouquet.
DIVERSITY is what makes them fascinating.
Today there are over 400 recognized breeds of dogs in the world. One of the reasons dogs have been such a successful species is because they are so adaptable. It’s no accident that we have dogs that are able to hunt, herd, guard, track, perform tricks and do so many other things at an expert level. Us humans figured out early on that if you bred dogs that were good at these things, you would get offspring that were also good at doing them. Imagine if there were only two or three types of dogs in the world? All of these jobs performed by dogs were necessary for our own species to survive. It’s no secret that we owe a lot to dogs just as we do to other animals.
DIVERSITY is what makes them fascinating.
So why is it that when it comes to animals, flowers, dinosaurs, even food that we easily celebrate and embrace their differences. But when It comes to humans it is differences which can divide us rather than unite us?
This week is anti-bullying week. But let’s be real – EVERYDAY should be Anti-Bullying. I was bullied when I was at school and also as an adult in a particular job. So why do people bully others? My sleeves are rolled up, my sassy pants are on and I’m about to go in. Ready?
In a nutshell, if you bully someone, you are a TWAT! The end.
Ok so maybe that is a little too short and (not so) sweet.
I just can’t understand why anyone in their right frame of mind would a) think it’s ok to bully another person and b) take pleasure in doing so. One thing I do know is that those who bully others are looking to gain a feeling of Power, Purpose and Control over you. The easiest way of doing this is to focus on something that is unique and different about you – either preying on or creating a new insecurity with an intent to hurt you either physically or emotionally. What happens is we as the people experiencing bullying, start to internalise it, we become self-critical and doubt starts to feed our mind. We want to understand the reasons why we are being targeted and we start to blame ourselves. We then try to mask or change that unique quality or characteristic in order to avoid the bully. We lose weight, gain weight, we change our hair, change our fashion choice, buy a flashier car - the list goes on. We change anything we can on the outside to hide the pain we are feeling on the inside. And by doing so it starts to affect our behaviour and the ways in which we see ourselves, which can go on to impact both mental and physical health.
For years researchers have been studying the mind of a bully and what they have discovered is that there is much more to bullying than meets the eye. For instance, many people once believed that bullying only consisted of physical bullying and name-calling. But when it comes to bullying there are actually several types of bullying.
Physical Bullying – The most obvious form of bullying and occurs when the bully uses physical actions to gain power and control over their targets
Verbal Bullying - Perpetrators of verbal bullying use words, statements, and name-calling to gain power and control over a target.
Relational Bullying – A sneaky and insidious type of bullying. Relational bullies often ostracize others from a group, spread rumours, manipulate situations and breaks confidences.
Cyberbullying – online bullying such as posting hurtful images, making online threats and sending hurtful emails or texts.
Sexual Bullying – consists of repeated, harmful, and humiliating actions that target a person sexually. Examples include sexual name-calling, crude comments, vulgar gestures, uninvited touching, sexual propositioning, and pornographic materials.
Prejudicial Bullying - Is based on prejudices tweens and teens have toward people of different races, religions, or sexual orientation.
The effects of bullying can be devasting, as they often continue long into adulthood and drive countless children into depression or self-harm. Some will even attempt or commit suicide. So, what can we do about it?
I honestly believe there needs to be a complete shift. A shift in the way we think about ourselves, each other and society as a whole. We have an opportunity to change the culture of bullying among young people and I think the answer begins with those who live, work and “influence” young people every day. Basically, that’s each and every one of us. Overcomplicated programs and policies are just not going to cut it. It’s the consistent messages we put out there, the daily and nurturing acts of kindness and reaching out to both children who bully and those at the receiving end of cruelty that will bring meaningful and lasting change.
We have to create a much more inclusive and positive school culture. Champion diversity, inclusiveness and acceptance and take action to ensure students learn about empathy and cooperation. It involves social and emotional learning and creating honest and open communication among staff, students and the community.
I don’t have all the answers but one thing for certain is that if you are being bullied or suffering from low self-esteem it’s time to reclaim back your Power, Purpose and Control.
The problem isn’t YOU,
The problem is what you think of yourself
Growing up my favourite TV program was Sesame Street. Here is a little fact for you. My middle name is Ghanaian and is pronounced the same as Sesame but is written “Sesime”. So, from an early age I instantly felt connected and loved every aspect of this show. I wanted to move and live at Sesame Street. This year Sesame Street celebrates 50 years of education, humour, diversity and inclusion. You were instantly introduced to children of different skin colours all playing together. Diversity and inclusion were baked into that show which openly and honestly dealt with the reality of what was going on with the children of today. We can learn a lot from Sesame Street!
There is so much pressure to live up to beauty, fitness and unrealistic standards. We are taught to compare ourselves to others instead of embracing our own beauty. It’s easy to follow the herd. It’s a lot more difficult to strike out on your own and truly be yourself. But being yourself is perhaps the greatest gift you can give to the world. To be yourself you have to accept who you are, as you are. When you find value in yourself, your whole world changes. Plain and simple – you cannot allow other people to hold more power in your life than you hold yourself. It takes time, it takes effort, it takes commitment. But believe me, it is so worth it.
“if all our fingers have the same length and width, our hands would be less attractive, less functional, nor could we harness the hands’ fullest strength. Similarly, if all people share the same racial characteristics, hold the same beliefs, the world would certainly not be an interesting place." – Binh Le
If you are being bullied, don’t keep it to yourself. Tell someone you trust and do it TODAY!
If you need help or advice about bullying:
Under 18 Childline 0800 11 11
Over 18 Samaritans 116 123
Parents/Carers Family Lives 0808 800 2222
Thanks for reading
Much Love
Pam x